Hey, you on the bicycle over there

I’ve let this fester for too long. Cyclists of Montreal – we need to talk.

I’m tired of you jackasses whizzing past me along Parc as I make my way to campus. Don’t get me wrong; your commitment to whatever environmental goal is the current fad is admirable, but you’re covering Montreal with an equally toxic product: douchebaggery. I’m tired of seeing you on sidewalks, and not just any sidewalks, but the ones RIGHT BESIDE THE FUCKING BIKE PATHS. Seriously, what the hell goes through your head to reach the “The bike path is 20 feet away.... I’ll use the sidewalk” conclusion?

If I weren’t so polite, I would naturally select a few of you with a stick through the spokes – but that’s mean and I wish to conform, rather than punish you. The only time for which your being on the sidewalk is appropriate is when you are dismounting at your final destination. Things with wheels go on the road – that’s the price you pay for faster-than-foot transportation. The bike riding situation in Montreal does not stand to reason. I’ve lived in many different cities, and the city with the best cyclist accommodation has the worst cyclists. Instead of a car-free Montreal, I think we need a jackass-free Montreal.

Fuck This! is a therapeutic anonymous rant column, not necessarily about the library. Send your 200-word-or-less harangues every week to fuckthis@mcgilldaily.com. Anonymity guaranteed, but nothing hateful – just frustrated!