Compendium
Compendium
Students give back to Milton-Parc through community mural
Off-Campus Eye
Compendium
Another lesson from psych class
Compendium
Fuck This!
Where the FUCK the TAs at?
A university is defined as an institution for higher learning, so why, WHY on earth would McGill cut back on TAs due to lack of funding?! That’s taking money away from the most integral part of ANY university! I read...
Compendium
Circa 100-word story
Jenny, Ausable State Park, 1987. In the photograph she stands bent at a 90 degree angle, peering at a fox. A magnifying glass is held to one eye. She doesn’t know it yet, but the animal is dead. She thinks...
Compendium
MAXiPad: the computer that lives FOR YOU
The new Apple iPad has so many capabilities, once you buy it, you’ll live vicariously through it. Counterclockwise: iPad showering; iPad eating steak (cooked on iPad); iPad listening to iPod; iPads making out; iPad reading Marcel Proust. With your new...
Compendium
P.M. distracts with tricks, jokes
Stephen Harper attempted to distract voters from prorogation at an international conference this Monday by performing magic tricks and telling vulgar jokes. “Um, check this out,” said the prime minister before pretending to pull a cigarette out of his anus....
Compendium
Love, Sex, and Magic reign
Have you walked down the street lately? There is a certain something in the air, and that certain something is Love, Sex, and Magic. Love, Sex, and Magic have been on the lips, and also the minds, of several members...
Compendium
Fuck This!
1: Fuck the arrogance of power So the Attorney General of my homeland decides to run for Senate. She’s gunning for the seat vacated by the death of long-time comrade of the common man Edward Kennedy. This woman has the...
Compendium
NJ gets stoned, stonewalls gays
“Gay rights, schmay rights. What we need is some dank chronic”
In a shockingly ethical and logical succession of decisions, the New Jersey legislature sagely approved usage of medical marijuana (48-14 in the Assembly and 25-13 in the Senate) and wisely rejected the legalization of equal marriage (14-20 in the Senate)....
Compendium
Fuck This!
From Exam Time OK, I know that it’s exam time, that McLennan is the place to be, and that perhaps it is a little naive to arrive at 1 p.m. on the first day of exams and expect to find...
Compendium
Copenhagen summit on peak banana ends in disarray
U.S. backdealing banana-splits conference on key energy source, smothers world leaders in whipped cream
COPENHAGEN – The 2009 United Nations Unviable Banana Cultivar Conference (UNUBC, pronounced ‘oo-noo-pck’) ended acrimoniously on December 19 as members of the G-77 accused Western nations of making a behind-the-scenes deal without consulting them. The conference, called to deal with...
Compendium
The library bathroom I want
There are a lot of gripes these days with the McGill library system. Too many talkie idiots who don’t work. Too loud. Books are too hard to find or are not findable. Frustrating security guards who steal my bottles of...
Compendium
McGill wastes water
Canada has a lot of fresh water, maple syrup
W ith lower campus going car-free in two years, McGill made sure to let Nature know who’s still boss as it wasted litres upon litres of water for no apparent reason Thursday. Security staff took time off of telling cyclists...
Compendium
He felte a thyng al rough and long yherd
Fuck This!
How fucking obnoxious can one classmate be? This asshole begins the class (an intimate 45-ish medieval job, mind you) by eating intense-smelling food (Midnight Kitchen probably). Then he leaves his cell phone on the table, and the fucking thing is...
Compendium
Hey, you on the bicycle over there
Fuck This!
I’ve let this fester for too long. Cyclists of Montreal – we need to talk. I’m tired of you jackasses whizzing past me along Parc as I make my way to campus. Don’t get me wrong; your commitment to whatever...