A few weeks ago we were standing in line waiting for food at Midnight Kitchen when a friend of our’s hurried up next to us all smiles. After exchanging pleasantries she finally exclaimed, “Last night I found my G-spot! And it was amazing!”
While this may sound like a story straight out of Cosmo, in reality talking about vaginas loudly in public places, finding your G-spot, or being really excited about either of these things is certainly not the norm. The G-spot is often referred to like a mythical place, a Shangri-La – something you can search for over a lifetime in hopes of someday getting close.
Well, consider the Shangri-La discovered: the G-spot does exist. However, our friend’s story, excitement, and willingness to share it all is rather atypical. The anatomy of the vagina and environs can feel intimidating, with three different holes, multiple layers, and hidden sensitivities. On top of this come the shame or social stigma often associated with vaginas (i.e. fish jokes, demeaning labels, connotations of passivity or of being the root of all evil). Vaginas might seem complicated, but this shouldn’t be cause to shy away. Rather, they can be a place of opportunity, exploration, and learning – both for those with vaginas and/or their partners.
So what is the G-spot and what does the “G” even stand for? The G comes from Ernst Grafenberg, who published an article in 1950 titled “The Role of the Urethra in Female Orgasm,” which described the area on the inside wall of the vagina as an “erotic zone.” You can find the G-spot on the front wall of the vagina a few inches in by curling your finger toward the belly button. This area is the urethral sponge and is made up of tiny glands that produce fluids when aroused. It can feel like the outside shell of a walnut or the roof of your mouth.
While the G-spot might not be some sort of secret, that doesn’t mean it’s everyone’s favourite body part. For some it’s the cat’s pajamas, for others it just feels like you really have to pee (from the pressure on the urethra) and for others it’s just not their thing. Simple solution: go slow and communicate if you are with a partner. Steady pulses of pressure can often produce a better sensation with the G-spot than lots of friction or thrusting, but don’t feel limited in your exploration.
The G-spot may be a touchy subject (haha) but it certainly isn’t a myth. Some claim a hierarchy of orgasms with the G-spot in top position and clitoral stimulation lower down, but this idea has the danger of delegitimizing how some people get off. As even talking about vaginal pleasure is still a relatively new phenomenon, we think it’s better to celebrate and enjoy all stimulation rather than try to categorize it.
Curious to find out more about the G-spot and vaginal ejaculation: How does it happen? What is the fluid made of? Tune in next week for these answers and more.