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Campus stunned to discover Daily editors hate The Daily more than they do

“I hate everyone in this bar”

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The last issue of The McGill Daily hit stands last week, printed as nothing but a 48-page stream of consciousness rant from editors past and present. Many students were surprised to find that they were not the paper’s biggest haters.

“I thought I hated that rag, but to be honest I think we all pale in comparison,” on anonymous hater offered, shaking their head in wonderment after picking up a copy in the SHMU building.

Inanity and vitriol were offered in equal amounts by editors of all sections over several generations.

At least seven Coordinating editors wrote in for something labelled an ‘intro,’ which largely consisted of seething diatribes about their respective years’ worth of co-editors.

“Why doesn’t anybody at this goddamn university know how to write a grammatical sentence?” one Copy editor griped. “I swear to god none of you should have graduated from high school.”

News editors’ complaints were sprinkled throughout, largely to do with their high workload and lack of recognition amongst the editorial board. “Hello, it’s a NEWSpaper,” was repeated numerous times as a response to other editors’ rants.

“I’m genuinely impressed,” said Rash Inall, who made a name for himself two years ago as one of McGall’s foremost Daily haters. “And I’m never impressed with The Daily.”

A recurring theme among the tirades was the number of opportunities lost to the bowels of the SHMU basement, from Friday night concerts to more gainful employment to a healthy social life free of severe caffeine addiction. “Do you know how many years I’ve shaved off my life in cigarette breaks and chugged coffee alone?” wrote one former Culture editor. “Fuck this place.”